Becoming A Family
by Sixty Five Roses
Summary: A compilation of mini-fics written for prompts given to me on Tumblr and Facebook during the hiatus. I arranged them in an order that made sense, even though technically, they are not related, they are all about the stages of becoming a family.
1. Two Idiots And A Baby

"I'm full of surprises," he said with a beaming smile on his face. She was not able to control the smile that spread across her face; it was a reaction that became increasingly common whenever she was in the same room with him in the recent couple of weeks. She used to be capable of maintaining a cool façade in the past, but something in Andy's behavior somehow managed to crack through her pretenses, to break down her walls and bring her to a state of utter lack of restraint. How he managed to do that was a matter she was yet to figure out. The baby in his arms curled his fingers around Andy's pinky and Sharon felt her insides turning to mush.

"Aww," she drawled, her eyes shining with excitement and adoration; towards Andy, but also towards the baby.

"Do you wanna hold him?" Andy asked and stood up, not even moving the bottle of formula from the baby's mouth. The baby eagerly sucked on the tit of the bottle, making soft sighs of contentment. Sharon's knees turned to jelly at his suggestion. She loved babies but it's been at least fifteen years since the last time she held a baby in her arms. It was something she didn't think she'd get to do until she'd have grandchildren of her own.

"Sure," she was barely able to pronounce the word. Andy was still smiling at her as he walked closer to her, gently placing the baby in her arms, once again without taking his bottle. That was a skill that Sharon, despite having raised two children, did not possess. She couldn't recall a single time she managed to transfer a feeding baby from her arms to someone else's without having to put down the bottle. Andy must have been a great father when his children were babies, she thought. She already knew he was a good father, from seeing him with Nicole but there was a difference seeing him with a grown daughter and seeing him taking care of a tiny baby. Just the thought of it made her heart beat faster.

"You okay?" Andy's fingers brushed down her arm that was holding the bottle as he released his hold of the baby. She seemed like she was about to cry.

"Yes, I'm… I just… really love babies," Sharon replied. _And men who are good with babies_, she thought. Andy grinned at her.

"Can't wait for the day Nicole has one of her own. I'm gonna spoil that child rotten," he said and his eyes shone at the thought.

"I can identify with that feeling," Sharon replied with a smile.

"Well, until then, we have this little guy here," Andy winked and pulled the chair for her to seat down and then sat down in front of her, watching the way she fed the baby as if it was the most interesting thing in the world.


	2. At Last

Her fingers curled around the pen; it was heavy in her hand, even though she had a pen just like that on her desk at work and a similar one at home and it never seemed to weigh so much when she used it before. Her hand shook and she took an inaudible yet deep breath before she brought the pen to the paper and signed her name at the bottom of the black line. She moved her hand in a measured manner, making sure each letter of her name was perfectly drawn. It seemed like a strenuous labor, but when she lifted the pen from the paper and inspected her signature, she smiled at the sight of it.

She dared raising her gaze from the paper and looked at her side, where Rusty was sitting. She gave him a reassuring smile and handed him the pen. He smiled back before he leaned down and scribbled his name on the black line on the other side of the paper. Then he straightened and looked at her, a smile of relief on his face. She took his hand and squeezed it and they both turned to the judge before them, who took the paper, inspected it and then added his own signature at the bottom of the page, in the designated place.

"Captain Sharon Raydor and Mr. Rusty Beck, I am happy to declare that legally you are now a mother and son. I wish you both luck in your shared journey," he said and the smile reached his eyes. He had known Sharon for many years and when she approached him about helping her and her foster son become a family, he was happy to be at her service. Now he looked at the reveling mother and son and in his heart, he wished them all the happiness they could get. He could see the tears shining in Sharon's eyes as she hugged her new son.

"It's a boy!" Provenza called out from the back of the room and the rest of the squad cheered happily. Sharon grinned, and the tears of happiness shone in her eyes.

"Rusty," she said softly. "I don't want to make a dramatic speech or anything, because I know this kind of thing embarrasses you, but I just want to tell you that right now, I feel exactly the same way I felt when Emily and Ricky were born. I'm so proud that you are now legally part of my family, even though you know that for me, you've already been family for a long time." She leaned and pressed a soft and swift kiss to her son's cheek, knowing that it would make him blush, but just this once, she allowed herself to publicly embarrass her son. He shrugged, as if it was nothing, but she could see through his façade that he was touched to his core.

"I love you," he said and leaned in to wrap his arms around her, something he has never publicly done before.

"I love you too," she whispered, and brought her hand to wipe her eyes. Here they were, a happy family, at last.


	3. Contagious Idiocy

Assistant Chief Taylor's fingers curled around Sharon's in a firm hand shake and the fingers of his opposite hand brushed against the side of her arm.

"Congratulations, Captain," he said, a smile on his face. She nodded at him, noticing the way Julio wrapped his arms around Rusty's shoulders and congratulated him. For all of them, Rusty's adoption was only an official rubber stamp. He had become family to her and the squad long before the idea of adoption ever came up.

The next person to congratulate her was Amy, who pulled her into a hug that was a little too tight and told her how happy she was for her, then Tao who uncharacteristically kept it short and Buzz, who blushed when she told him how much she appreciated his ongoing support and the big brother role he played in Rusty's life.

She then hugged Julio, who seemed much less shocked than he was when she hugged him on the day he came back from his sick leave.

"I don't hug," Provenza had his usual grumpy expression on his face as he wrapped his arms around her shoulders. "But this is a special occasion, so here." He then proceeded to hug Rusty who seemed slightly surprised by the old lieutenant's unusually avuncular display. Sharon watched the both of them with a smile.

"Congratulation, Sharon. It's about time," Andy said as he wrapped his arms around her. She leaned into his touch and closed her eyes, getting a whiff of his spicy yet gentle cologne. Her stomach fluttered when he pulled away, his hand lingering on the side of her body longer than it should. Their gazes locked and each of them could see the warm reflection of emotions in each other eyes. They weren't the only ones. Provenza noticed it too and he pointedly bumped his shoulder with Andy's with enough force to make his lovesick friend lose his balance. The sudden movement made Sharon and Andy look at each other and Provenza noticed the rosiness that simultaneously spread across their faces.

_Idiocy must be contagious_, Provenza thought. What other explanation could the Captain have for staring at his idiot partner with begging Cocker Spaniel eyes?


	4. Family Photo

The elevator dinged as it reached the 11th floor and Sharon came out of it, carrying a paper bag full of toiletries Rusty told her he absolutely needed her to buy for him before she got home from work. She walked towards the door of her condo and balanced the paper bag in one arm as she fished the keys from her purse and unlocked the door. She walked into her dark condo and turned on the light.

"Surprise!" she heard the sound before she saw the people who waited for her in the living room. She took a step back, slightly startled by the unexpected presence.

"What are you doing here?" It took her a moment to regroup herself and she practically ran inside the living room and swept her two older children into a warm embrace.

"Rusty here thought that we should all celebrate now that we've officially become a family, so we decided to throw you a surprise party," Emily said.

"Yeah, he cooked and baked a cake and he even left your kitchen clean," Ricky added as he leaned and kissed his mother's cheek.

"I'm so happy to see you, but you didn't need to go through the trouble of travelling all the way here; we're supposed to see each other again in two weeks anyway. You could have just waited for Christmas."

"Well, about that…" Emily said, wearing an excited smile. "We need to apologize."

"Apologize? Why?" Sharon asked, hoping that it didn't mean that they won't spend the holidays with her and Rusty.

"Well, we just figured, your house is going to be very crowded over the next two weeks, so we should apologize for the lack of privacy and space our presence is going to cause." Emily said, smiling at Rusty and then turning to smile at Ricky.

"You're staying until after the holidays? The both of you?" The smile that spread on Sharon's face was enormous when her two older children nodded.

"I didn't really get to meet Rusty and it's been a while since Ricky and I saw each other, so… yeah. We should probably spend some time together and bond and whatnot." Emily added.

"That's great, I can't believe you guys did this, it's so wonderful to have you here!" Sharon called out in excitement.

"It was really Rusty's idea," Ricky said.

"Thank you, Rusty," Sharon smiled at her youngest son.

"There's just one thing before we sit and have dinner," Rusty said and turned to Ricky.

"Yeah… you know how you have a photo of you and Emily and dad on the desk in your office?" Ricky asked and Sharon nodded. "Well, the thing is – dad is not really in the picture and he's never really been and also we have a new brother now and that photo is kind of old and we have horrible 90's hair so we should take a new photo – 'The Raydor Family 2.0', you know?"

"Yeah, sure, we can go to a photographer tomorrow and get our picture taken," Sharon replied.

"Uh, no." Rusty and Ricky said in unison and Sharon wondered if they practiced it.

"What do you mean?" Sharon asked.

"Well, we have a little helper here who's gonna take our photo now," Ricky said and Buzz came out of Rusty's room, walked down the corridor and entered the living room, holding a huge camera.

"Oh, Buzz. Did they make you wait in there for the entire time?" Sharon asked and walked over to him, placing her hand on his arm.

"We bribed him with Rusty's dinner," Emily said.

"They didn't bribe me, Captain. I'm happy to be here and take your first family photo," Buzz said with a shy smile.

"And we're happy to have you over for dinner," Sharon said. Buzz nodded appreciatively.

"Okay, so let's do this thing," Emily called out cheerfully. They posed for the photo: Sharon between Rusty and Ricky and Emily next to Rusty.

"Ready? On three say ''Cheers'. Okay?" Buzz said. "One, two, three!"

"Cheers!"


	5. Worth The Wait

The first thing they noticed was each other's smell; his aftershave was gentle and mixed perfectly with his natural earthy smell. Her scent was floral and fresh and had an addicting quality to it.

Then they felt the heat; the soft puffs of air that came out of their noses and hit each other in the faces, warm and humid.

Then there was the softness and fullness of each other's lips as they pressed together in a tentative kiss.

But the feeling that accompanied the entire orchestra of sensations was the nearly unbearable electric current that coursed through their bodies and the magnetic pull that they both tried to repress since the moment this evening began. It was not new; it resided in their bodies for several months, a year even. It was just the first time they both allowed themselves to succumb to it.

The feeling of release when their lips touched came with a taste of more and almost simultaneously, they both opened their lips, each of them giving the other permission to enter and explore the inside of their mouths.

The textures of their tongues against each other made their stomachs flutter in excitement. It was ridiculous to think of how long they danced around their feelings for each other without admitting them even to themselves. But none of that really mattered now, as their lips molded into each other, insatiable and eager to please and be pleased at the same time.

They only pulled apart when they could no longer contain their need for air. Their eyes locked in an intense gaze, loving and warm and at the same time full of desire and lust.

"You have no idea for how long I've waited to kiss you," Andy panted.

"It was worth the wait," Sharon replied and pulled him down to her lips for another passionate and hungry kiss.


	6. Ye Gods

Sharon's hand found Andy's as soon as they walked out of the bar. It didn't feel strange or awkward. They never really held hands before, except for when they danced at Nicole's wedding, but that didn't really count. And still, their first handholding felt as natural as breathing. She wasn't even sure what made her do it, only that she wanted to feel his fingers curl around hers and that the quiet moments that they spent walking towards his car were so much more pleasant when she was holding his hand.

From afar, they heard a slow song playing; it may have come from someone's car radio, but it didn't matter, because when Andy stopped walking and spun her around, then pulled her against him, all she cared about was the intimate proximity between their bodies and the somewhat abrupt desire that sparked in the pit of her stomach. They swayed to the music, oblivious to the fact that they were standing in the middle of a half vacant parking lot.

They came to a stop and stared at each other for a moment, none of them able to look away from the other. Sharon's lips started curling up in a smile as she leaned forward and planted them on his lips; a stunned shiver went through Andy's spine, but it was momentary only, as he tightened his hold of her and spread his lips open, granting her access to the depths of his mouth. She cupped his cheek and let her tongue cross the threshold of his lips, moaning into his mouth.

"Ye Gods!" The unforeseen grunt made them pull apart so fast that for a slight second they both felt a little dizzy from the sudden movement. "You two idiots!" Provenza walked towards them and hurled Andy's wallet into his chest. "_We're just friends,_" he mimicked Andy's usual protest every time he confronted him about his relationship with Sharon before. "I come out here to bring you the wallet you so stupidly forgot at the bar and I find you making out with the Captain."

"Lieu…" Sharon started.

"And you!" Provenza turned towards Sharon and pointed at her. His finger shook with anger.

"Yes, what?" She folded her arms on her chest and looked at him over the rim of her glasses.

"What is wrong with you? The both of you! Putting your careers on the line for an infatuation, a fling!"

"This is not a fling!" Sharon and Andy called in unison and Provenza covered his face with his palms. They exchanged puzzled looks and then smiled at each other.

"God dammit, you two have gone out of your minds! It's not only your careers that you two are risking; it's the whole department," the grumpy lieutenant called out.

"Lieutenant," Sharon's voice was soft and syrupy. "Should I remind you that I wrote half of the rules about fraternization within the department?"

"What does it have to do with anything?"

"I'm so glad you asked," Sharon smiled sweetly. "The thing is, when you write the rules, you also know all the loopholes. So let me assure you that Andy and I, and the entire department are perfectly safe. Now, do you need a ride home or are you waiting for a cab?"

"I'll remarry Liz before I get in the same car with the two of you in the front seat!" Provenza grouched. "I'm riding with Sykes, I just wanted to give my idiot partner his wallet." He turned around and started walking back into the bar.

"Goodnight, Lieutenant!" Sharon cheerfully called after him.

"Good one, Sharon," Andy grinned and walked over to where she was standing. She shrugged and stepped into his arms again. "Now where were we?"

"I think we were at this," Sharon grinned and leaned forward, capturing his lips between hers for a long and lustful kiss.


	7. The Best They Could Ever Ask For

Sharon tightened the blue and brown striped scarf around his neck as they went out of the car and into the snowy street. She adjusted his woolen toque and cupped his face in her mitten-clad palms. She smiled at the sight of him. His face was flush from the cold and his lips trembling slightly. She pressed her lips to his in a soft kiss and then took his hand in hers and they continued making their way down the block, their feet occasionally sliding on muddy slushy.

"You know she's going to kill us, right?" Sharon asked, a soft smile gracing her features.

"She is going to be elated, Sharon. And if she gets mad, blame me. I'm the one who got the tickets," Andy squeezed her hand. They walked another block and then stopped in front of a duplex, decorated with Christmas lights.

"This is it," Sharon said and they climbed the five steps that lead to one of the doors and rang the bell. They heard steps from the inside.

"Who is it?" they heard a feminine voice from the inside.

"It's me," Sharon called out and they heard a series of locks being turned on the inside. The door opened and Emily stood in front of them, wearing a leotard and ballet shoes.

"What are you two doing here?" Emily hugged her mother and then wrapped her arms around Andy's neck.

"We wanted to surprise you, honey," Sharon said as her daughter moved from the doorway and invited them in. She took their coats and hung it in the hall closet.

"I'm definitely surprised," Emily replied as she let her mother and her boyfriend towards the living room.

"Were you practicing?" Sharon asked and motioned towards her daughter, as if to indicate the leotard.

"I was warming up," Emily replied and as her mother and Andy took a seat on the couch, she lowered herself to the floor and started undoing the string of her ballet shoes. "These need to be broken in," she said when she saw Andy's horrified face when he saw her bleeding toes. Sharon didn't look too affected by the sight. Emily then stood up and excused herself to get changed, while Sharon explained to Andy about how new ballet shoes could sometimes cause blisters and bleeding in a dancer's feet. He seemed less horrified, but still did not fully accept the idea of a girl having to endure injuries and pain in order to become a dancer. "Can I offer you coffee or tea?" Emily came back into the room, wearing a fuzzy sweater that used to be Sharon's until Emily confiscated it a couple years ago and a pair of jeans. Her feet were bare and her toes were bandaged.

"Sure, honey, I'll have tea," Sharon said.

"Me too," Andy said and Emily went to the kitchen and placed a kettle on the stove. She came back to the living room while she waited for the water to boil.

"So how's the kid?" She asked, referring to Rusty.

"He's doing well. His marks are very good and he joined a chess club in college; they compete and they won a couple of tournaments," Sharon replied.

"That's great," Emily said enthusiastically. "You should bring him here sometime; I think he'll like New York."

"Maybe next time I'll bring him with me," Sharon smiled at her daughter. Unlike Ricky, her daughter did not have a hard time accepting Rusty into the family. It seemed almost natural to her that the boy her mother took in several years before ended up becoming part of their family.

"What are you planning to do in New York while you're here?" she asked.

"Well, we're only going to be here for a week, and we thought of watching a play, maybe…" Andy said, a mischievous smile on his face.

"On Broadway?"

"No, we got tickets to this play… they say that the lead is amazing, so we thought it would be really great to watch it," Andy said and Sharon watched the twinkle in his eyes.

"What is it called?" Emily asked.

"Well, I can't quite remember, but it has some dancing and music in it," Andy replied.

"A musical?" Emily tried.

"Wait, I think I have the tickets here," Andy made a show of rummaging in his pocket when he pulled a white envelope and handed it to Emily. Both Andy and Sharon watched the young woman as she took the tickets out of the envelope.

"What? Mom, no way!" she called out excitedly. "You got VIP tickets to the Romeo and Juliet opening night?"

"Well, it's not every day that my daughter lands the lead role in a huge ballet production. We wanted to should show our support," Sharon replied, a huge smile on her face.

"Oh my God, Mom! This is amazing! I'm so glad you'll be there." Emily said and hugged her mother, then Andy.

"I know how hard you worked to get this role and I'm so proud of you, honey. I wouldn't miss it in the world," Sharon beamed and so did Andy.

"I love you, the both of you. You're the best family I could ask for," Emily said and handed Andy the envelope. He placed it back in his pocket and smiled at the young woman, who looked so much like her mother. He loved Emily the same way he loved Nicole, and he couldn't help but agreeing wholeheartedly with Emily's words. He had his children and Sharon and her children in his life, and all of them together were the best family he could ever ask for.


	8. Storm In A Teacup

Her fingers curled around the heavy clay mug and she closed her eyes and brought it close to her mouth, feeling the steam rising from the cup and caressing the skin of her face. Wrapping her lips around the rim of the mug, she felt the pale liquid warm against her lips. Gracefully, she took a sip, enjoying the earthy taste and the herbal aroma on her tongue.

She closed her eyes and leaned back, taking a deep breath. There was something comforting about drinking a steaming cup of tea. It always reminded her of the very first time, of how she learned of its wonderful effect on her body and soul. In her mind's eye, she could still see it, feel it – the warmth of the big old leather armchair as her small body sank into it. That day was etched in her mind as if it hasn't been nearly 50 years since then.

_The tears created wet streaks as they rolled down her freckled face. Her feet climbed the short flight of stairs and she stood on her toes, trying to reach the knocker. She was too short and therefore she pounded on the door with her little fists and legs like a wild person until it opened. She looked up at the person who stood in front of her with cold blue eyes that warmed up to the sight of her. _

_"Dolly died," she cry-hiccupped as the woman in front of her – her grandmother, bent down to level with her 5 years old granddaughter. _

_"Dolly, your friend or Dolly you dog?" she asked, her voice unsure. The dog was old, she knew, but Dolly, Sharon's best friend, was a little girl who was born with a heart condition the doctors couldn't fix. Any one of these two could have been the cause of her granddaughter's tears. _

_"My friend," Sharon replied and she felt her grandmother's arms surrounding her and sweeping her off the floor and carried her into the living room. _

_"Where are your parents?" her grandmother asked when Sharon calmed down a little bit. _

_"At home," the girl replied, a guilty expression spreading across her tear-streaked face. _

_"And how did you get here?"_

_"I ran," Sharon admitted. _

_"My God, Sharon! You're too young to walk or run here on your own. It's dangerous. You still don't know how to cross the road." Her grandmother's harsh tone seemed to shake the little girl all the way down to her core. She hadn't expected being chastised by her grandmother, even though when she left the house and ran the three blocks that separated her grandmother's house from hers, she knew she was doing something that she was not allowed to do. "It doesn't matter now, sweetheart," her grandmother said when she saw the little girl's expression. "The most important thing is that you are safe." She smiled and stroked Sharon's messy hair. "Do you wanna seat in Grandpa's chair, Sharon?" The girl's eyes widened in awe. Nobody sat on that chair since her grandfather died. Of course, she couldn't even remember her grandfather, because he died before she was even born. _

_"Am I allowed?" she asked hesitantly. _

_"Of course you are. He's not here to sit in it, so why shouldn't you?" With her grandmother's help, Sharon climbed up the armchair and sat in it. It was made of leather, but it was very old and therefore soft and comfortable. "Now wait here for a few minutes and I'll bring you something that will make you feel a lot better." Her grandmother said and walked towards the kitchen. Sharon looked around the room, her eyes still wet. She tried not to think about Dolly, but her brain was full of question. She didn't know exactly what it meant that Dolly was dead but she knew it wasn't a good thing. But where did it mean Dolly go? Can she come back from where she went? Did she take a suitcase with her? What did she put in it? As her thoughts wondered to the true meaning of her friend's death, her grandmother walked back into the living room. "Here you go," she said and placed a china cup in Sharon's palms. "Don't drop it. It's the prettiest cup I have." Her grandmother was hesitant about letting go of the cup. Sharon stared into the white cup. It was decorated with blue roses and there was a golden strip around the rim. The liquid inside was golden and reminded Sharon of the beer her father sometimes drank, only without the bubbles in it. "You know, when I feel sad, I always make myself a cup of tea and it makes me feel a little better," her grandmother said. Sharon looked into the cup again and brought it to her lips, taking a tentative sip. It was sweet and flowery and she wasn't sure she liked it, but she couldn't say she hated it. _

_"If Dolly drinks it, will she be not-dead anymore?" she asked and looked at her grandmother with hopeful eyes. _

_"No, darling; when someone is dead, they can never come back, just like Grandpa. The tea can't help Dolly, but it will help __**you**__ feel a little better," her grandmother promised. Sharon stared for another moment into the cup and a warm tear crossed the threshold of her eyes and rolled down her cheek. "It will get better with time, sweetie." _

_"I miss her already," Sharon said and felt her grandmother's soft fingers brushing her tears away. _

_"I know. It's hard losing someone you love. Drink up your tea before it gets cold." Sharon took another sip of the tea and then another one. "Do you like it?" her grandmother asked. Sharon nodded slowly and her grandmother nodded in satisfaction. _

She could still remember falling asleep in the armchair shortly after finishing her tea, with her grandmother's soothing hands stroking her hair. When she woke up, her grandmother promised her that whenever she had a bad day, she could always come over and have a cup of tea with her, which Sharon did many times over the years. She could remember the day her mother called her in LA and told her of her grandmother's death. Even before the call was finished, she had a kettle on the stove in order to make herself a cup of tea.

She opened her eyes, emptying her clay mug and then taking a deep, cleansing breath as she placed it on the coffee table. She felt arms being wrapped around her body from behind and turned her head to see who it is, even though she could tell by the smell of his aftershave that it was Andy.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked and planted a kiss on her forehead.

"Just about how much I like tea," Sharon smiled at him and it appeared like he wasn't sure whether she was serious or joking. "I'm just glad this horrible day is over and I was finally able to relax with a cup of tea," she explained.

"Well, if you're not fully relaxed yet, I can think of a few ways we can have some _**relaxing time**_. How does that sound?" Andy asked. Sharon hummed softly and then turned around in his arms and captured his lips.

"It sounds great. In fact, it's exactly what I need to unwind," she smiled and let Andy lead her to the bedroom, take her clothes off and have his way with her. "Thank you, Andy," she said as they lay in her bed, their limbs tangled and the sheets beneath them creasing under their joint weight.

"I'm glad to be of service," he said as he kissed the tip of her nose. He should have probably thank her, because now he knew what he could get her for Christmas. One could never have too many tea sets.


	9. Letting Go

**Warning: Includes a lot of angst and mentions of major character deaths.**

* * *

><p>The girl walked over to the hospital bed and wrapped her arms around the elderly woman in it. The woman pulled the girl into her arms, shushing her when the girl started sobbing on her shoulder.<p>

"Oh, Shari," she said, her hands gently caressing the girl's head. "There's no reason to cry right now. That's just how the world works. People come and go," she rubbed the girl's back and then sent her hand forward to reach the man who stood behind the girl. "Rusty," she uttered his name softly, the same way she always did. He walked over to her and took a seat at the edge of the bed, gently pulling Shari away from the woman and onto his lap. He looked at her and then at the girl at his lap.

"Shari, can you go outside and sit a little with your father?" he asked.

"But what if…" the child started but he shook her head at her. The question the girl wanted to ask remained in the air, but all of them knew what she wanted to ask.

"I won't die in the next five minutes," Sharon Raydor did her best to sit in bed and smiled, the tube in her nose making it a little uncomfortable to move her facial muscles.

"Promise?" Shari said and her grandmother nodded slowly.

"I promise. I just need a few moments to speak with your father here," Sharon replied and squeezed Shari's hand before the girl left the room to sit with her other father. "She's just like you," she said and took her son's hand. The girl looked like Rusty and on top of that she also had his character.

"She has a little of David too," Rusty argued, but inside he agreed with Sharon. The girl, who was named after her in honor of everything she's done for him reminded him of himself sometimes. He had three children now with David – Shari was the oldest and then there were Louise and Frankie. Sharon loved all of the grandsons her three children brought to the world, but it always seemed to Rusty that she had a special connection with Shari. As a baby, Shari only let Sharon hold her, not even her dads were able to calm her down when she cried; as a toddler, she followed Sharon around all the time and now as a preteen she spent as much time at Sharon's house as she did with her friends. Rusty could understand that connection very well. Sharon knew how to listen and never judged and that would make any child, even the troubled teenager he used to be, feel welcome and respected and grow attached to her. Emily and Ricky's children were in their early and late teens now and they also seemed to trust Sharon better than they did their own parents. "She has a little bit of you in her too, you know?" Sharon shook her head with amusement.

"You have to be here for her when I'm gone. She's always going to have Emily and Ricky too, but she will need you and David most of all." Sharon smiled at him.

"About that," Rusty said, his voice shaking a little. "Emily said that you decided to sign a DNR."

"Yes, darling. My heart and kidneys are not going to hold on for much longer and life support is not the path I want to go, so when that happens, I just want to die, with the three of you beside me," she said and took an excruciating breath. When she signed the DNR, she knew Rusty would oppose. Even after he got married and had a family of his own, he always turned to her for advice, for support. She was there for him whenever he needed, and soon he will have to learn to live without her.

"But Sharon!" he said and reminded her of the teenager that he used to be. He was almost 40 now, but it appeared that the child in him was never truly gone. "Maybe they can save your life if you draw the DNR."

"Oh, honey. I don't want that," Sharon placed her hand on his arm and smiled to him. "I know things like this are hard for you." When Lieutenant Provenza passed away, Rusty cried for days, even though he was already in his early 30's when it happened. The same thing happened when his mother died from drug overdose and when Andy was diagnosed with stage 4 liver cancer, shortly after he and Sharon decided to get married. He didn't deal with goodbyes and deaths very well and considering his history as a child and teenager, Sharon was not surprised. Now she was genuinely worried for him. She trusted her other children to be there for him, but she was still concerned about his wellbeing. "But everyone dies eventually. Drawing the DNR may extend my life, but it will also extend my suffering. I would feel much better if I can die a dignified death, with my children by my side, so the last thing I see is the beautiful family I have."

"But I'm not ready," Rusty said, once again sounding like the terrified teenager he used to be.

"Honey, you're never ready to lose a parent. I was nearly 60 when my parents passed away and being older didn't make me ready to lose them," Sharon said patiently. "But I am ready to die; not right now, but in the near future." She could see the tears shining in her son's eyes. He was so beautiful and talented and she loved him so deeply. "I know that it's not easy to lose the people you love, Rusty. I may not be here, but you'll still have all the memories we created together."

"I hope you get to live longer than you or the doctors expect, Sharon, but just in case you don't I want you to know how much I appreciate everything you've done for me. I don't think I have the words to tell you just how big a role you played in my life, from the moment I first met you, but every day that passes, I always keep your wisdom and your love in mind." Rusty's tears started rolling down his face. In the years that passed since his teenage years, he had learned that crying in front of people was not a weakness and that none of the people he loved would mock him for it.

"Sweetheart, I know you do. And know I'm proud of you, for everything you have done and accomplished. You are a brave, kind and compassionate man who took the worst of situations and made something good out of it. You inspired me just as much as you inspire the kids who come to you for help. You are an exemplary person, Rusty and I couldn't be any prouder of you than I am right now." Sharon pulled him into her arms and kissed his cheek.

"I'll never forget everything you've done for me, Sharon. I wish all mothers and fathers in the world would be like you, then there won't be children like me who lose their homes and families because of their sexual orientation or because their parents use drugs or have to serve time."

"But until then, these children have you to help them through and if I've ever done anything right it was to give you the money to start the youth shelter." Sharon remembered how uncomfortable Rusty felt asking for that money, and to make things easier for him, she agreed to give him a loan, knowing very well that until he's able to pay it back, she won't be there to take it.

"The only reason I'm able to help these kids is your love and your support of me, Sharon," Rusty sighed.

"You give me too much credit, Rusty," Sharon sighed. "You're the one making a difference in their world, you're the one who's there to listen and make sure they're fed and attend school and have a safe place to sleep. You've done all of this without my help. Don't make me a saint."

"To me you are a saint, Sharon," he said.

"Saint Sharon, I wonder what the Catholic church is going to think about that," Sharon grinned as she leaned into her pillow.

"You're tired. Do you want me to leave now?" Rusty asked, realizing just how much energy this conversation must have taken from her.

"Please stay with me a little longer, if you have time," she requested and felt Rusty's fingers tightening around her own.

"I always have time for you, Sharon. You know that," he said and his mother smiled as she closed her eyes, quickly drifting into a peaceful slumber. Soon, he knew, she won't be with him anymore, but she will always remain in his heart, in his memories and in his thoughts, until the day he, too leaves this world.


End file.
